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by Doc Blakely

It’s A Puzzlement

Some of the greatest unsolved
mysteries in history
still puzzle scientists. But
every once in a while some
fellow claims he figured it
out and becomes famous
for his discovery. However,
nobody can prove for sure
he discovered it or just
looked it up on Goggle.
And the more things he
can discover that nobody
can prove he is wrong, the
more famous he becomes.
It’s like the popular NFL
quarterback Joe Theisman
once said, “I’m not a genius,
just an average, intelligent
person. A genius is someone
like Norman Einstein.”
When Joe was corrected
during an interview where
he said that, he explained
that he knew his name was
Albert but he decided to
call an audible at the line
of scrimmage.
A few years ago I visited
Scotland and went out to
the lake where the Loch
Ness Monster is reported
to live, thinking I might
become famous for solving
a great mystery. It was getting
dark and I was already
under a lot of stress from
driving on the left hand side
of the road, just like they do
around Terlingua, Texas,
but I adjusted my army surplus
night vision goggles to
maximum power and lo and
behold I saw a giant catfishlike
creature as big as a Russian
Submarine. I grabbed
my harpoon and a bottle of
Tartar sauce and attacked.
But the creature wrapped
long whiskers around my
body and was choking the
very life out of me. I would
have been a goner for sure
if my wife had not woke
me up and untangled the
bed sheets from around my
neck. So “Nessie” remains
an unsolved mystery.
The Bermuda Triangle,
also known as the devil’s
triangle, is another mystery.
Imagine a triangle
drawn from Bermuda to
Florida to Puerto Rico and
back to Bermuda. Many
ships passing through this
area and many airplanes
flying over it have disappeared
into thin air. Well,
that may be the problem
right there. Maybe the air is
thinner inside this triangle
and everybody dies from
a lack of oxygen. But have
scientists measured the air
in and out of the triangle?
Of course not, these projects
rely on volunteers.
It’s not worth paddling
around in a rubber raft in
the Western Atlantic to see
if you float off into space.
If you do float up into thin
air and solve the mystery
who are you going to tell?
But what I want to know is
how is the devil mixed up
in this mess? I think I can
solve that mystery. You
see there are many kinds of
triangles. There are Acute,
Obtuse, Right (but no Left),
Equilateral, Isosceles, Scalene
and Love Triangles.
The devil is involved in all
of them, especially trigonometry.
That’s why when
people don’t understand
something they shrug their
shoulders and say, “Go
figure.”
I think Henny Youngman’s
doctor had a solution.
Henny said, “Doc
I broke my leg in three
places.” His doctor said,
“Stay out of those places.”
www.docblakely.com
Humorist Doc Blakely
is a professional speaker/
writer/musician/rancher
from Wharton, Texas. He
has been Pokin’ Fun at
himself and life for 40 years.

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