YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out my window on Main Street, and I know it sounds crazy but it’s not too early to worry about firewood.
This may be one of the hottest, driest summers ever, but remember that the “Farmer’s Almanac” forecasts a colder-than-usual winter. It’s coming, I assure you.
A couple of years ago at this time of year, I wrote about my worries and my firewood shortage. By that time in life I was reduced to grabbing sticks of wood someone spilled on the side of the road, or dreaming of raiding a certain neighbor’s firewood stash.
I didn’t know it at the time but I was on the verge of halting the use of my fine inside fireplace altogether because I seriously dreaded Ash Cleanout Day.
Finally I gave up fires except the firepit on my patio. A solicitous brother brought some firepit-sized sticks of hickory, hackberry and oak.
He asked again the next year and this time threw in some pieces of pinion pine which I think he got in New Mexico. Pinion burns real good and smells wonderful. You can’t cook hotdogs over it, however.
Bro asked about my firepit/fireplace wood needs again this year but I am older now and have given up on the firepit. Thanky anyway, Brother.
So I still have about three years worth of short sticks piled up in the carport. Maybe I’ll get up the gumption to do the firepit again before winter.
It would have to be before sundown because for some reason I have been going to bed earlier. And, honestly, do you think we’ll have an autumn anyway?
AND I hate to call your attention to our current drought especially because that same “Farmer’s Almanac” also predicts a drier-than usual winter.
Already: July was more than an inch below normal rainfall; August more than an inch-and-a-half below normal; and September by Monday afternoon an inch behind.
It’s already dry, dry, dry, and if the winter is going to be worse the judge may ban firepits anyway.
Still, I dream of the day when the smell of fireplaces drifts through my neighborhood.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS: It has taken a few weeks and two bags of raw, unshelled peanuts, but ‘my’ bluejays seem to have returned to the Peanut Table on the patio.
And I do believe that ‘our’ Mississippi Kites have departed to wherever they go just before hot weather lets up. I sure hope they are right about the weather.
I have spent several mornings on the patio scanning the skies for the Kites. As soon as this newspaper issue comes off the press I’ll probably have spotted one circling the neighborhood buffet table.
And even though my granddaughter removed about a half-dozen old nests from inside the Bluebird Box in June no prospective Bluebird parents have come by for a look.
Maybe it’ll happen next spring. I hope to be here.
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AND SOME OTHER THINGS I have learned:
1. The Universal Laws of Theaters and Arenas: The people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the ones who get up most often for refreshments or bathroom trips, and they always leave before the end of the game, movie or performance. The people in aisle seats always come early and never get up for refreshments or bathroom trips. They always have very long, gangly legs and/or big bellies. They are hard to get past and also act ‘put out’ if you want to get by.
2. The Universal Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone a machine won’t work it works perfectly. This Law is closely related to the Universal Law of Toothaches and Dentist’s Chairs.
3. The Universal Law of Bio-Mechanics: The severity of the itch is proportional to the difficulty of reaching the itchy spot.
4. The Universal Law of Logical Arguments: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
5. The Universal Law of Physical Appearance: If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
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HE SAID: “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” Walt Disney, American animator, film producer, voice actor, and entrepreneur
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SHE SAID: “I would tell anyone who wants something from someone else to feign not wanting it. People are perverse. If you show great affection to them, they’ll run the other way.” Hedy Lamarr, Austrian and American actress and inventor
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
