YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out my window on Main Street, andI am ashamed at the way my imagination runs away from my usual good sense, sometimes.
Like last week when I read how our Governor’s ‘vouchers’ go into effect for people who don’t want to send their children to public schools.
They’ll get about $7,000 annually to pay for Junior’s or Sissy’s tuition. The public schools won’t get the money.
Human nature being what it is (and here is where my imagination gets loose), someone had already figgered out a loophole 15 seconds after the voucher law went into effect.
Say someone or some couple has a child. They don’t want to burden the child with having to decide its gender, so they name it Junior-Sissy and will allow it to choose its own sexual identity later in life.
But wait! It would be discrimination if either Junior or Sissy didn’t get equal vouchers, so Arkansas makes sure that BOTH get one. This is actually enhanced two more times because Mom and/or Pop declares the child is intellectually challenged and BOTH Junior and Sissy should get what used to be called “crazy checks.”
But wait! What if Junior Sissy is home-schooled. That voucher money could go straight to the school administration — Mom and/or Pop. Maybe even more if the kids can’t be in the same home room.
But wait! Sissy wants to sue the school administration because she is denied a starting position on the football team. And Junior wants to sue because he can’t do cartwheels with the cheer squad. Somebody gotta pay for the kids’ lawyers. Seems to me that Arkansas has that obligation. Legal rep for the kids’ school administration, also.
It’s only fair. Plese pardon my imagination.
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A NIGHTTIME VIEWING. Right now I’m trying to think of a dark place with unobstructed view of the northeast so I can see the comet early early early Thursday and Friday. Since it crosses our sky on or before my birthday I’m calling it Louie’s Comet. You can, too.
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DO YOU BELIEVE? If you are curious about Unidentified Aerial Phenomena — formerly known as Unidentified Flying Objects — then you won’t want to miss the next meeting of the Arkansas chapter of MUFON — the Mutual UFO Network. They’re on tv a lot. Right after the totally-believable ‘Ancient Aliens’ program.
The meeting is open to the public. Alien beings are also invited, no matter which galaxy they’re from. The meeting will be at 3 p.m. Earth Time in the Community Room of the Fletcher Branch Library of the Central Arkansas Library System, located at 823 N. Buchanan St., Little Rock.
Persons armed with Death Ray Guns must leave them with the receptionist. There will be prizes for the most inventive use of unknown alloys in the making of radiowave receptive hats.
And if you can’t attend, just send them your good wishes by Vulcan Mind Control.
Seriously, I believe in UFOs.
I’ve had too many friends who have had their own experiences and they don’t put up with teasing, even years after the event.
One of my college roommates, the late Joe Rice of Foreman, along with hundreds of other Little River County residents, had sightings over two nights back in the late 1990s, I believe.
Joe was an Air Force veteran where he loaded cargo scientifically into large aircraft, so I trusted his judgment about stuff like size and altitude and speed of flying objects.
He described the Little River County UFO as being triangular in shape and about the size of a football field. It flew over low and slow. It made a moaning sound. I can’t remember if he said anything about lights.
His description was almost identical with that of another friend, Jim Williamson, who was editor and co-publisher of the late, lamented ‘Little River News.’ Jim jumped in his car and chased the thing all over Little River County, taking photos. He showed them to me but I am just a peasant and I confess they only looked like white dots.
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HOW HOT AND DRY? Thank you, Lord, for delivering us from August. That hateful month had 7 days of 100 degrees or hotter; 25 days of 95 or hotter. Only 3 days with measurable rainfall; rainfall normal 3.18 inches; rainfall actual 1.88 inches. That month also saw wildfires in Australia and Hawaii, a Florida hurricane and gullywashers in Southern California and England, not to mention record disappearance of Arctic ice.
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THINGS I LEARNED by opening another email: The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims.”
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WORD GAMES. The twins: Neat and Orderly. My Navy bootcamp barracks. Definitely not my geezer bachelor abode.
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HE SAID: “I hate to mention age, but I come from an era when we weren’t consumed by technology and television.” Jimmy Buffett, musician. Jimmy just ducked out for a Cheeseburger in Paradise.
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SHE SAID: “Stop this attitude that older people ain’t any good anymore! We’re as good as we ever were — if we ever were any good.” Dolly Parton, entertainer, and avid promoter of reading among children
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
