Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations: Eternal Argument

Mine Creek Revelations: Eternal Argument


YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and today I am thinking about an important subject: Truth in Labeling.

Recently, I was down to my last 1-lb. bag of corono-hoarded dry Navy beans and I was afraid that my last ham hock would get freezer burn, so my crockpot menu for the weekend was pretty well decided.

I gathered the needed items, including a box mix for a pan of cornbread. There were actually many choices for cornbread mix, and I picked out one that said all I needed was an egg, 2/3 cup of milk, and the contents of the mix box. Easy peasy, except that I had to stand on tiptoe to reach the box.

The picture of the finished product on the box cover looked delicious. “Original Mix,” it said. I followed instructions exactly and tasted the finished product while it was still warm from the oven.

IT WAS SWEET! GAH! I hate sweet cornbread. I dug through the trash cart and found the box. Nowhere on the box did it admit it was Sweet Yankee Cornbread (I’ve always attributed sweet cornbread and sweet tea to Yankees who know no better. Late in life i have learned that some otherwise-nice Southerners are unfortunately unsophisticated enough to pretend to like sweet cornbread and sweet tea). I hold no grudge, but that stuff is icky.

I went back to the grocery store and looked at the cornbread mix boxes again. None of them said whether the contents were Yucky Yankee-style or not.

So my question is: How does an amateur crockpot bean chef know if he is being tricked into buying a yucky sweet cornbread kit?

I know it will take me some time to get past eating a whole pan of sweet cornbread, but you know how I hate to waste food.

I considered my own situation. Why did I NOT like sweet cornbread or sweet tea? The most plausible answer is that I grew up in a one-income family with 10 kids.

While I’m waiting to be named Official Downtown J-Turn Enforcement Officer, I might spend some offduty time standing tiptoe in the aisle at the grocery store, warning shoppers about the dangers of the cornbread mix display.

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READING ABOUT the Grammys because I never watch pat-myself-on-the-back shows. I despair at how far our culture has fallen.

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IT WAS A SURE THING. Last week I attempted to write about moving back into the ‘Nashville News’ building, and at the end of the article I tried to list the people I have worked with producing newspapers in this building and in the ‘Leader’ building.

Of course I left out some of my favorites. Like Carolyn Harrod, Mac Murphy, Donna Kay Sively Dyer and Edy Mobbs.

My apologies to them and to anyone else whose names were crowded out of my tiny brain at the time.

I have also been reminded of some paperboys even though I said I wouldn’t try to list them. Anyway, some of our paperboys included Rodger Echols, Rusty Steel, Max Tackett and Bert Bulimia. Just kidding about the last name. Would love to hear from other paperboys at the ‘News’ from back in the day.

An additional note about Carolyn: She asked Swampy if the ‘News’ office would close for the day because Elvis had died.

I still remember the look on his face!

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THE GOOD EARTH. I notice that some Bradford Pears are blooming gloriously, but soooo many other trees and bushes look horrible after our Deep Freeze.

I am wondering if we’ll have Dogwoods by Easter, and will I ever have gardenias and azaleas again?

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THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email: Tell a man there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.

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WORD GAMES. The twins: Handy and Dandy. They are related to Fine and Dandy, and in fact, two of the cousins share the same first name —  named after a maternal uncle, Jim Dandy.

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REPEATING: For ‘our’ cancer patients — We have moved into the ‘old’ Nashville News office on North Main, and we have taken our modest cancer project with us. For cancer patients who are traveling for doc appointments, lab work, chemo, x-ray, etc., we have vouchers for $25 worth of gasoline at Road Mart. All you have to do is ask and we’ll give you one.

Since we began the project in late 2007 we have provided almost $75,000 worth of gasoline vouchers.

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HE SAID: “I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., physician, poet and inventor

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SHE SAID: “Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to ‘jump at the sun.’ We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.” Zora Neale Hurston, African-American anthropologist and filmmaker

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