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Mine Creek Revelations: Poor Reflection

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YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out my window on Main Street and I cannot fathom what is happening in the U.S. Congress about our country’s border security.

I thought some days ago that Republicans and the Democrats in the U.S. Senate had finally reached an agreement on border security. This was an important legislation Republicans had advocated strongly.

But then …. Republicans in the House of Representatives promised they’d sink the proposed legislation, which included aid to the Ukraine for its war against Russia.

Then our former President got involved. He asked the senators NOT to approve their own border security legislation because it might help his opponent in the November election. They obeyed.

THAT IS NO WAY TO RUN A COUNTRY!

Our country first, ladies and gentlemen of the Congress. This reflects poorly on the one who asked for it.

This past weekend, the ‘Arkansas Democrat Gazette’ endorsed the Presidential candidacy of Nikki Haley in next month’s Preferential Primary Election. That newspaper has been a reliable conservative Republican-leaning publication forever.

I’ll join them and hope that you do, too.

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SHUT UP AND GET WELL SOON. Well, it’s February and I am smack dab in the middle of my usual winter affliction. The doc called it bronchitis but both of my regular readers, family and Ancient Aliens all refer to it as the Creeping Crud.

Drugs do not work on the Creeping Crud. I even begged the doc for a prescription for some radioactive heroin cough syrup.

She agreed, and she told the pharmacist to double up on the ingredients. ”Get him some of that extra strong radioactive poison the Chinese have been putting in our food imports,” she instructed.

I took a big swig of the doggone stuff even though I knew it wouldn’t work. I was right. It didn’t work. Tasted as bad as sweet cornbread.

I remembered my Grandmother Graves’s traditional Irish cure. She knew about the family frailty to the Creeping Crud, and she had an old family recipe which certain hellion members of the clan may have bravely smuggled across the Atlantic.

She’d mix hot water, lemon juice, some honey and a heaping spoonful of bourbon and have us swallow a big gulp. She said it was a Hot Toddy. I guess that’s an Irish medical term.

Well, there were a lot of us kids, and it seemed that we’d all get sick at the same time if we were visiting her. Even the ones that weren’t sick got in line for that Irish elixir.

She couldn’t keep up with who had already had his or her dose. After swallowing, we’d return to the back of the line and fib to her about not already being dosed. She’d give us another shot. And another.

Finally she caught on. “There’s not 20 of you so I know some of you are just like your uncles on my side of the Fant family, and you keep getting back in line.”

That meant the medical treatment was over. It was alright because at that point the patients were giggling and didn’t care.

I do remember one time this Irish grandmother showed us how to dance an Irish Jig she may have learned from her own grandmother whilst getting authentic family medical treatment.

There’s another time-honored cure attempt for this disease. And this one actually works. I am living proof. Moms, feel free to write this down for future medical reference:

Remove the shoes and socks of the afflicted little darling no matter his or her age. It works well equally for toddlers or for persons who no longer worry about showing ID for an Irish medical toddy.

Coat the feet — top and bottom — liberally with Vicks Vaporub. Do not substitute a cheap imitation.

Replace the socks and shoes.

Do not remove the socks or shoes, even when the precious little darling goes to bed. They should wear the same socks and shoes for a minimum of 24 hours.

If this does not cure you, the smell will cause your housemates to put you outside where they hope you die of exposure.

Burn the shoes and socks when good health is achieved.

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ANIMAL CRACKERS. My fellow bluebird fancier Mark Pack says he thinks he’s seen a couple of bluebird scouts. I sure hope so.

Mark agrees with me that our bluejays have virtually disappeared. He says it may sound strange, but he thinks the disappearance dates back to Covid. I cannot dispute that. Maybe the birds are just ‘social distancing.’

The absence of bluejays might also be attributed to the absence of peanuts I once put out on a patio table. I have been remiss in replenishing the supply of peanuts. Normally they’re harvested and available at the Farmer Co-op in the fall.

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HE SAID: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr., minister and activist

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SHE SAID: “The only way to learn a language properly, in fact, is to marry a man of that nationality. You get what they call in Europe a ‘sleeping dictionary.’ Of course, I have only been married five times, and I speak seven languages. I’m still trying to remember where I picked up the other two.” Zsa Zsa Gabor, actress

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby

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