YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and I confess that I had NO IDEA this week was the U.S. Postal Service’s “Dog Bite Awareness Week.”
I had no idea because even though I have had years of experience dealing with bite dogs, the US Postal Service saw fit NOT to consult me. They probably relied upon information from people who live in big city penthouses and clutch toy poodles.
Yes, we all need to be aware of the threat Friendly Fifi can be to the overall wellness of postal workers, but I would have been willing to share my vast paperboy experience with the Postal Service at practically no cost to them whatsoever.
Here is my experience in a nutshell: “The dog that will bite you is a small ‘yap’ dog that comes up from behind and nips your ankle.” Please send suitable compensation for this valuable advice. You know my mailing address, of course. And please send the check quickly lest the Republicans and Democrats get to arguing over the national debt limit again.
The postal service has some tips for Fifi’s owners to help with the overall health and well-being of the letter carriers.
Number one is don’t have a dog. Ha Ha.
Actually, number one is to keep doggie in a fenced back yard, or in the house or on a leash.
There are tips for the postman (or woman), too. Don’t feed or pet doggie. If the dog gets aggressive try to keep something like a mailbag between you and the dog.
Reading up on dogs and dog bites I came across articles about which dog breeds are the most dangerous.
No surprise — it’s pit bull terrier breeds.
I frequently see articles in which someone says that there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. Dogs must be trained to be dangerous, they say firmly.
I also frequently see articles in which someones says “I can’t understand why Petticoat attacked and killed our two-year-old grandson. We’ve had Petticoat for six years and she’s never even growled.” Yet there’s the story in a newspaper where a toddler in a swing was savagely attacked by Petticoat, a pet bull terrier.
My opinion is that there’s just something in the breed that snaps suddenly, and the attack is on.
Nashville has banned pit bull breeds, and I’m glad. Occasionally someone will approach the City Council and ask for a special permit for a pit bull, or to have the ordinance vacated.
Luckily our council members have never given in.
A pit bull will just turn on someone for no provocation.
There ARE some things to do if it looks like a dog is going to attack you. Don’t turn your back on the dog. Don’t run. And don’t look the dog directly in the eye. I don’t know why. It also helps to have a stick in your hands, but don’t attack the dog in retaliation.
When I was a paperboy I also often carried a water pistol filled with ammonia. One squirt in the eyes did the trick, and there were no repeat offenders.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. Wouldn’t you know it? This week I am having my house painted. At the same time, in the bluebird box attached to the side of the house I have five hungry chicks. I don’t know what’s going to happen but the head painter, Randy Sain, says he’s also a bluebird guy and will unscrew the box and move it at the last minute in the hopes of not scaring the chicks into early flight or inviting Mom or Dad into some protective dive-bombing.
My house. This is the third time it’s been painted. Jane and I painted it in the summer of 1977 while construction was still underway inside. You can still see how high shortgirl Jane could reach with a paintbrush. There are also some dings on the siding as a result of flying debris from the 2015 Mother’s Day Night Tornado.
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NOTICED. I have been noticing some early morning city crews picking up litter on Main Street. Looks good. Thank you, Mayor Dunaway.
And fairly recently saw some guys in orange county jail coveralls picking up litter on rural roadsides. Looks good. Thank you, Sheriff McJunkins.
IF ONLY debris wasn’t thrown from vehicles in the first place.
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THINGS I LEARNED by opening another email: “Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make it wag its tail.”
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WORD GAMES. Siblings: Eggs and Bacon. Everyone loves them in the morning.
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HE SAID: “For the poison of hatred seated near the heart doubles the burden for the one who suffers the disease; he is burdened with his own sorrow, and groans on seeing another’s happiness.” Aeschylus, Greek playwright
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SHE SAID: “When I wake up, I expect things to be good. If they’re not, then I try to set about trying to make them as good as I can ’cause I know I’m gonna have to live that day anyway. So why not try to make the most of it if you can? Some days, they pan out a little better than others, but you still gotta always just try.” Dolly Parton, entertainer
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
