Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations: Swatting Flies

Mine Creek Revelations: Swatting Flies

1164
0

YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out of the newspaper’s window on Main Street and I  am pleased to share some important information with you. And here it is — free of charge:

The average male housefly can live 28 days in your house. Longer, if you keep the inside temperature cool.

Maybe even longer if you have some animal manure lying around.

This important information is available to you because in my house for the past couple of weeks there has been an adult male housefly (I’m guessing its gender, haven’t been able to check for myself). Worse, he won’t ‘hold still’ long enough for me to get to within a flyswatter’s reach of the little darling.

Swat! I’d swat it in a New York minute if only I got a chance. Send it to Housefly Hell, if there’s such a place.

At least this fly isn’t the kind that buzzes your eyes, nose and mouth …. and any food on the table. I really, really hate that kind of fly. You’ve probably experienced one just like mine. They just won’t leave you alone. It is a very satisfying experience when you finally get to swat it even if you break a couple of priceless dishes in the process.

I’m still rather mad at Noah for not taking the opportunity to leave the little darlings off the Ark. Houseflies, horseflies, yellowjackets, ticks, skeeters, chiggers and fire ants and a few other pests have no real reason for existence.

Feel free to add your own most-hated species here: _________________.

=—-= — =

THE GOOD EARTH. Not my imagination. Neighborhood yellowbells (forsythia) are blooming. Maybe it’s old age creeping up on me but I thought yellowbells waited another month.

Usual signs of January include the loooooong flights of blackbirds, bobbing and weaving together in an unending stream. We got millions.

=—-= — =

HUNTING HUMANS. Over the weekend — two more mass shootings. One in LA; one in La.

According to one news source it’s not even February yet and in America there have been 33 mass shootings.

We’re about to run out of thoughts and prayers to send to the survivors and families.

Too many nuts with guns. Too easy for nuts to get guns.

This nation needs to address gun violence.

=—-= — =

LIGHTS OUT! Up in Massassassassachusetts there is a fairly new high school with a computer-controlled lighting system. School patrons have discovered that the lights never — NEVER — go off, even for Christmas break when there is no one in the school. 

Some school smartypants realized that they need a certain part in order to shut down …. and the part is from China and is unavailable. The school considered replacing the whole 10-year-old system, but that would cost $1.2 million.

So, they just pay the light bill. How did we ever get like this?

=—-= — =

# 1 ARKANSAS RAZORBACK FAIR WEATHER FAN. Lots of people have asked me how to survive the woeful trend in Razorback Basketball.

I’ll be glad to share the secret of my success.

When the Hogs play I go outside and listen to the birds. I only go inside briefly to see how we’re giving the game away.

My blood pressure can’t take much of what’s happening on the telly.

After all, I am THE #1 Arkansas Razorback Fair Weather Fan. Win or else.

I hate the transfer portal. I wonder if those players ever bother to learn to sing the ‘alma mater,’ or if they have ever been inside Old Main.

=—-= — =

I’VE ORDERED MINE. The oft-delayed or Covid-cancelled 4-H Super Bowl BBQ fund-raiser will be Saturday, Feb. 11, the day before the Super Bowl. Cornish hens and slabs of ribs done to drooling perfection in big iron cookers by 4-H moms and dads and program supporters. The event, previously held by the radio station on South Fourth Street, will be at the county fairgrounds this year.

Please order yours in advance by calling the Extension Office at 845-7517. Free to add a tip. I was in 4-H so long ago it was known as 3-H.

=—-= — =

THINGS I LEARNED by opening the email: Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a used Yugo.

=—-= — =

WORD GAMES. The twins: Down & Dirty. Sounds like the perfect name for a professional wrestling team.

=—-= — =

HE SAID: “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend — or a meaningful day.” Dalai Lama, spiritual leader

=—-= — =

SHE SAID: “Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power – a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment.” Marsha Sinetar, teacher and author

=—-= — =

SWEET DREAMS, Baby

Previous articleObituary: Rogers Hilton Broussard
Next articleMurfreesboro Diamond • Feb. 1, 2023