Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations: Royal Treatment

Mine Creek Revelations: Royal Treatment


YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out of the newspaper’s window on Main Street and I am frankly very ashamed of myself for making fun of our governor-elect.

In fact, I am so ashamed of belittling her character that I want to make it up by attending one or more of the events surrounding her inauguration to show my support.

But I need your help.

Cash gifts large and small would be appreciated.

Here are some of the events:

• Prayer and Worship Service. It’ll cost $100,000 for four reserved seats.

• Inaugural Ball. It’ll cost $10,000 for a table of four (I’ll also need three friends willing to dress up).

• Candlelight Dinner. It’ll cost $50,000 for two tickets (the Navigator has already told me she won’t go, so I’ll need a date).

• Bourbon & Cigars. It’ll cost $10,000 for two tickets. This event is hosted by the guv’s hubby but she’ll be there. I don’t suppose she will partake of the stogies or hooch, but if she does PLEASE no one rat on her to her daddy.

• Vintage Carnival. It’ll cost $10,000 for one family. No cigars or bourbon available for the kiddies.

• Freedom Fest BBQ. It’ll cost $10,000 for four tickets. All the cole slaw you can eat or stuff into your pockets.

I’m sure the new guv will go right to work on her campaign promises. Already Nancy Pelosi has announced her retirement from the Democratic leadership in the House out of fear of our new guv.

!Que problemo! Our new lieutenant governor is also running out of targets and may have to turn her attention to Arkansas problems. Oh, you mean the lieutenant governor can’t really do anything about Arkansas problems other than send out press releases? Well, I’m sure she can find something.

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DO YOU HAVE a problem with a bad habit?

Some of the perfessers over at LiveScience have good news.

They have discovered that there are three ways to overcome a habit, good or bad.

#1 Tell yourself not to do it.

#2 Avoid the circumstances that cause you to respond to the habit Or …. 

#3 Put that energy into a habit that isn’t bad.

Like, if going into Dollar General makes me want to buy a bag of M&M Peanuts, I can:

#1 Tell myself not to buy that cute little yellow bag full of colorful delicious crunchy peanuts covered with chocolate and a thin candy shell.

#2 Don’t go in Dollar General. Or …. 

#3 Enjoy a bag of baby carrots instead.

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HERE IT COMES. This past weekend an asteroid hit the earth. Some astronomers actually saw this thing before it hit, but not in enough time to warn us that we were about to join the dinosaurs.

I can’t tell you how big this thing was. The astronomers said it was about 1-meter in diameter, and that doesn’t help me one bit. They shoulda said it was biggern a basketball, or smaller than a Bad Boy Riding Mower.

Anyway this thing disintegrated about 850 meters (again, ?) above the earth, and pieces of it might-or-might-not have fallen into the waters of — or onto the beaches of — Lake Ontario up in Canada. No one was sunbathing at the time.

This was the second time this year that a rock from the Asteroid Belt has sailed into our atmosphere and hit Mother Earth.

Because they know you’ll want to scientifically examine any piece of an asteroid or a meteor you find, the LiveScience perfessers are willing to tell you how to properly handle it.

Use a pair of tongs, or wear gloves or wrap it in a piece of mostly-clean aluminum foil to keep it from becoming contaminated or rusty.

Then call Commander James Tiberius Kirk at the Starship Enterprise.

I remarked to the Navigator just the other day that suddenly we are not seeing news stories about UFOs and space aliens after having literally been swamped by such stories for several months.

We agree that we humans are about to get some big news about the aforementioned UFOs and space aliens.

Me? I’m pretty skeptical about space aliens, UFOs and sasquatch.

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WORD GAMES. Here are some more words that we often hear used together in some context: Five and Dime. Used to be what we called ‘general’ stores. Today’s Dollar General, Family Dollar, Dollar Tree, etc., are examples.

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THINGS I LEARNED by opening the email: The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle. If that’s so, then what is a ‘Jot?’

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HE SAID: “One man cannot hold another man down in the ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him.” Booker T. Washington, educator and author

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SHE SAID: “One doesn’t recognize the really important moments in one’s life until it’s too late.” Dame Agatha Christie, author of detective novels

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