YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out of the newspaper’s window on Main Street. I am reminded that it’s time once again for me to lobby with the esteemed ladies and gentlemen on the Howard Memorial Hospital board of directors about the community’s great need for a Senior Citizens Nose and Ear Hair Clinic.
For one thing, HMH could hire some perfessers to research on when nose and ear hairs begin to become a problem for senior citizens. I know that I have had my own long silver nose and ear hairs for at least two decades, maybe even going back to the last time Arkansas beat Texas A&M in football (but I digress and I’m sure you don’t want to read more about it).
Another thing. Out at the HMH Nose and Ear Hair Clinic perfessers could research on why my barber insists he can’t see any long nose or ear hairs right after he volunteered to trim them. Heck, they’re sitting there fluttering in the breeze as I breathe. Anyone could see them (except for SEC referees).
And another thing the HMH Nose and Ear Hair Clinic perfessers could research is why my swell battery-powered nose and ear hair trimmer (which came with a complimentary set of bamboo wind chimes) cannot cut thru those fluttering silver banners that are waving so conspicuously from my nostrils.
I wish the HMH board would hurry up and get something going. Any day now it’s possible that the mayor will bend to public pressure and officially designate me as the city’s Downtown J-Turn Enforcement Officer. I am sure the new responsibilities and power of the office will come with an official-looking ID card which will need a photo.
And one last thing: My advice is free.
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LOOK UP. I could have accurately predicted the weather forecast for Wednesday (June 26) before either of you got to look at this paper.
I would have told you that it would be overcast; possibly raining.
Why? Because it’s the night of 2021‘s ONLY full moon total eclipse.
The perfessers at the Something Something Observatory tried to make a big deal of this.
They said the moon is called ‘Super Flower Blood Moon’ which surely is enough to offend some segment of the population. (I’d write more about this but I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.)
It also happened to be the biggest ‘super moon’ of the year.
Actually, the weather probably didn’t matter because many of you did not want to get up at 3:45 in the morning to catch it. The perfessers at the Something Something Observatory said they would live-stream the event (I have no idea what a live stream is, anyway; is it anything like Messer Creek or Dillard Creek?).
The moon gradually slid into Earth’s shadow. It gradually became more reddish, so the perfessers said.
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HEARD FROM. I am an old dog, but I can still be surprised to see a new trick.
I attended out-of-town graduation ceremonies last Friday, May 21, for one reason. It was my only grandchild’s graduation.
Here is something the local superintendent of schools told the crowd.
“This is the:
• 21st day in the
• 21st week of the
• 21st year of the
• 21st century.
• and this is the class of 2021.”
Pretty clever, I thought. Then a second thought struck me. What if school superintendents all over the state shared this clever bit?
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. My sister Jennifer who lives on a hill in the woods just south of the city’s upper water reservoir, takes pictures of the birds that visit her bird feeder. Last week she took a pic of a Western Kingbird — larger than Cardinal, thick beak, scissor tail, pale gray head and bright yellow underbelly. She and friends had to look through a bunch of bird books to identify the critter.
Our John Balch says that we do have some Eastern Kingbirds, but he hasn’t seen the Western variety. The difference, I suppose, is that the Western variety has boots with spurs.
Lots of people are now telling me that they finally have some Bluebirds.
Friend Denise Cobb (nominated for sainthood because she has lived with Eddy for so long) posted a pic of what she thinks is a juvenile eagle that visits a low perch in her yard in Nashville.
I don’t ever have anything exotic. All I got are fire ants and poison ivy. And sweetgum trees.
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WORD GAMES. The twins: Came and Went. You just missed them by a few seconds. They always seem to be in such a hurry!
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HE SAID: “Our creator is the same and never changes despite the names given Him by people here and in all parts of the world. Even if we gave Him no name at all, He would still be there, within us, waiting to give us good on this earth.” George Washington Carver, agricultural scientist
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SHE SAID: “When radium was discovered, no one knew that it would prove useful in hospitals. The work was one of pure science. And this is a proof that scientific work must not be considered from the point of view of the direct usefulness of it.” Madame Marie Curie, physicist and chemist, 2x Nobel Prize winner
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby