YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out the window on Main Street, and wondering if you remember the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. There was a boy and he jokingly cried “wolf,” so many times that when there really was a wolf the neighbors didn’t believe him.
Yes, I’ve cried “wolf” many times in this column, but this time my story is real.
Runoff water was high around my patio landscaping, Saturday, after that very hard (2.3-in.) rain. The rain finally quit and the water stopped rising.
Sunday afternoon I walked into my bedroom and something caught my eye.
It was a snake stretched out on the floor under the window sill. I remember this because the snake was a little longer than the window sill.
“I guess it squeezed in under the bathroom door that opens onto the patio,” I said to myself when I could breathe again.
I ran out through another door, and propped the patio door open. My plan was to get a broom and usher the snake out the same way it got in.
But the snake didn’t obey. Instead it wriggled under a nearby closet door. I saw its tail disappear under some hanging clothes.
I did what any sensible wolf boy would do. I called the cops. They swiftly responded and to their credit they did not laugh in my face.
I showed them the snake curled up in the corner of the closet.
“We’re gonna need a better stick,” Officer Greg Parker said nodding at my pitiful broomstick. I got another stick. Greg is a combat veteran. With him Sunday was Officer Mackenzie Vermillion.
Officer Parker jabbed at the snake and it tried to come out of the closet. He then pinned it to the floor behind the head with the better stick. He fearlessly grabbed the snake behind the head. The snake immediately wrapped itself around the officer’s forearm and opened its mouth. Even the neighbors could hear my heart pumping.
We had a brief discussion about whether it was a friendly harmless snake or if it was a COTTONMOUTH WATER MOCKSICAN that would kill you fatally dead several times over if it bit you.
We (me keeping correct social distance from the officers and the snake) went outside and dropped the varmint into a fang-proof trashbag. They said they would properly dispose of it.
I hope they squash it under a steamroller.
Things that just won’t leave my mind:
• How did it get into the house?
• Did it spend the night with me in my bedroom?
• Was it a friendly rat snake or was it a lethal mocksican?
• Exactly what IS the correct social distance to keep between yourself and a snake of any kind?
Pardon me while I warn the neighbors that there is a wolf outside.
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SUNDAY WORSHIP during the virus quarantine.
Some local congregations joyfully returned to their houses of worship, last weekend, while others continued pandemic isolation. People attended religious services in a variety of ways including local radio, in-person, Facebook, YouTube or streamed on the Internet.
Broadcaster Brent Pinkerton says that eight area churches have live or recorded programs on his radio stations. First Baptist and First United Methodist are live broadcasts.
Still observing quarantine is the congregation of First Baptist Church here in Nashville. Our John R. Schirmer says there are talks underway for returning to regular services with social distancing rules. TV screens and chairs would be set up in the fellowship hall to handle the overflow from social distancing. Full parking lots at Sunset Church of Christ and First Assembly of God Sunday. First Assembly was having first services in their new building.
The obligation of Catholics to be present at a Sunday Mass is still suspended. Limited Sunday Mass attendance was observed at St. Martin’s Catholic Church where I am a member.
I am sharing this with you because you probably don’t know much about us Catholics.
St. Martin’s televises Mass on Facebook. I did not attend in person, Sunday. Instead, I ‘attended’ Mass at a church in Halifax, Nova Scotia where Archbishop Anthony Mancini celebrated.
If you’ve been keeping up, since the virus I have been to Sunday Mass at Capetown, Little Rock, New York City, Boston, Hong Kong, Dominican Republic, and now Halifax — all via the Internet. One of the good things about this kind of Sunday worship is that I can have a cup of coffee on the table beside my computer. Don’t tell the preacher.
At the Halifax website there was a note posted that the church office would be closed Monday, May 18, for Victoria Day, a national Canadian holiday created in 1845 to celebrate the queen’s birthday.
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HEARD FROM. One of my regular readers asks me to relay a request to Pilgrims: Please remove or replace the tattered flags atop the town feed towers. “They make the town look bad,” reader sez.
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WORD GAMES. Another set of twins: Checks and Balances. Once upon a time they were a part of our government.
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HE SAID: “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” Sound advice from Samuel Langhorne Clemens (pen name Mark Twain), American humorist and philosopher
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SHE SAID: “You find yourself refreshed in the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” Lydia M. Child, civil rights activist
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby